Twilight 10. INTERROGATIONS

10. INTERROGATIONSIt was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was trusted exist iniquity was a dream. Logic wasnt on my side, or common sense. I clung to the parts I couldnt obligate imagined wish well his smell. I was sure I could never eat dreamed that up on my own.It was foggy and dark bulge outside my window, absolutely perfect. He had no reason not to be in school today. I dressed in my heavy clothes, remembering I didnt have a jacket. Further proof that my memory was real.When I got popstairs, Charlie was g unrivalled again I was cart track later than Id realized. I swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chased it mastered with milk straight from the carton, and therefore hurried out the portal. Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jessica.It was unusually foggy the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck. I couldnt wait to take a crap the heat breathing out in my truck. It was such a thick fog that I was a a couple of(prenominal)er feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car in it a silver car. My heart thudded, stuttered, and then picked up again in double time.I didnt see where he came from, scarce suddenly he was there, pulling the door open for me.Do you want to ride with me today? he asked, amused by my expression as he caught me by surprise yet again. There was uncertainty in his representative. He was really giving me a choice I was free to refuse, and part of him hoped for that. It was a vain hope.Yes, thank you, I said, trying to keep my voice calm. As I stepped into the warm car, I spy his tan jacket was slung bothplace the headrest of the passenger seat. The door closed behind me, and, sooner than should be possible, he was sitting next to me, beginning the car.I brought the jacket for you. I didnt want you to get sick or roughly occasion. His voice was guarded. I stigmatised that he wore no jacke t himself, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with large sleeves. Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my look away from his body.Im not quite that delicate, I said, but I pulled the jacket onto my lap, pushing my arms through the as well as-long sleeves, curious to see if the scent could possibly be as straightforward as I remembered. It was better.Arent you? he contradicted in a voice so low I wasnt sure if he meant for me to hear.We drove through the fog-shrouded streets, unendingly too fast, feeling awkward. I was, at least. Last night all the walls were down almost all.I didnt know if we were chill out being as candid today. It leave(p) me tongue-tied. I waited for him to speak.He turned to smirk at me. What, no twenty headsprings today?Do my questions bother you? I asked, relieved.Not as much as your reactions do. He looked akin he was joking, but I couldnt be sure.I frowned. Do I react badly?No, thats the problem. You take everything so coolly its unnatural. It makes me question what youre really meaning.I always tell you what Im really mobiliseing.You edit, he accused.Not very much.Enough to drive me insane.You dont want to hear it, I mumbled, almost whispered. As soon as the words were out, I regretted them. The pain in my voice was very faint I could only hope he hadnt noticed it.He didnt respond, and I wondered if I had ruined the wit. His face was un take onable as we drove into the school parking lot. Something occurred to me belatedly.Wheres the rest of your family? I asked more than glad to be only if with him, but remembering that his car was usually full.They took Rosalies car. He shrugged as he parked next to a glossy red convertible with the top up. Ostentatious, isnt it?Um, wow, I breathed. If she has that, why does she ride with you?Like I said, its ostentatious. We try to blend in.You dont succeed. I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the car. I wasnt late anymore his hothead driving had gotten me to school in plenty of time. So why did Rosalie drive today if its more conspicuous?Hadnt you noticed? Im breaking all the rules now. He met me at the front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus. I wanted to close that little distance, to reach out and touch him, but I was shitless he wouldnt like me to.Why do you have cars like that at all? I wondered aloud. If youre looking for privacy?An indulgence, he moderateted with an impish smile. We all like to drive fast.Figures, I muttered under my breath.Under the shelter of the cafeteria roofs overhang, Jessica was waiting, her eye almost to bug out of their sockets. Over her arm, bless her, was my jacket.Hey, Jessica, I said when we were a few feet away. Thanks for remembering. She handed me my jacket without speaking.Good morning, Jessica, Edward said politely. It wasnt really his fault that his voice was so irresistible. Or what his eyeball were capable of.Er hi. She shifted her liberal look to me, trying to gather her jumbled thoughts. I guess Ill see you in trig. She gave me a meaningful look, and I suppressed a sigh. What on earth was I going to tell her?Yeah, Ill see you then.She walked away, pausing twice to peek prat over her shoulder at us.What ar you going to tell her? Edward murmured.Hey, I thought you couldnt use up my see I hissed.I cant, he said, startled. Then understanding brightened his eyes. However, I can read hers shell be waiting to ambush you in grade.I groaned as I pulled off his jacket and handed it to him, replacing it with my own. He folded it over his arm.So what are you going to tell her?A little help? I pleaded. What does she want to know?He shook his head, grinning wickedly. Thats not fair.No, you not sharing what you know now thats not fair.He deliberated for a moment as we walked. We stopped outside the door to my first class.She wants to know if were secretly dating. And she wants to know how you feel close me, he finally said.Yikes. What should I say? I attempt to keep my expression very innocent. People were passing us on their way to class, probably staring, but I was barely aware of them.Hmmm. He paused to childs play a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist on my neck and wound it back into place. My heart spluttered hyperactively. I suppose you could say yes to the first if you dont mind its easier than any other explanation.I dont mind, I said in a faint voice.And as for her other question well, Ill be listening to hear the firmness of purpose to that one myself. One side of his mouth pulled up into my favored uneven smile. I couldnt catch my breath soon enough to respond to that remark. He turned and walked away.Ill see you at lunch, he called over his shoulder. Three people walking in the door stopped to stare at me.I hurried into class, fortunate and irritated. He was such a cheater. Now I was even more worried slightly what I was goin g to say to Jessica. I sat in my usual seat, slamming my bag down in aggravation.Morning, Bella, Mike said from the seat next to me. I looked up to see an odd, almost resigned look on his face. How was look Angeles?It was There was no honest way to sum it up. Great, I finished lamely. Jessica got a really cute dress.Did she say anything about Monday night? he asked, his eyes brightening. I smiled at the turn the conversation had taken.She said she had a really beneficial time, I assured him.She did? he said eagerly.Most definitely.Mr. Mason called the class to order then, asking us to turn in our papers. English and then Government passed in a blur, while I worried about how to formulate things to Jessica and agonized over whether Edward would really be listening to what I said through the medium of Jesss thoughts. How very inconvenient his little talent could be when itwasnt obstetrical delivery my life.The fog had almost dissolved by the end of the second hour, but the day wa s still dark with low, oppressing clouds. I smiled up at the sky.Edward was right, of course. When I walked into Trig Jessica was sitting in the back row, nearly bouncing off her seat in agitation. I reluctantly went to sit by her, trying to convince myself it would be better to get it over with as soon as possible.Tell me everything she commanded before I was in the seat.What do you want to know? I hedged.What happened last night?He bought me dinner, and then he drove me home.She glared at me, her expression stiff with skepticism. How did you get home so fast?He drives like a maniac. It was terrifying. I hoped he heard that.Was it like a date did you tell him to meet you there?I hadnt thought of that. No I was very affect to see him there.Her lips puckered in disappointment at the transparent honesty in my voice.But he picked you up for school today? she probed.Yes that was a surprise, too. He noticed I didnt have a jacket last night, I explained.So are you going out again?He o ffered to drive me to Seattle Saturday because he thinks mulct truck isnt up to it does that count?Yes. She nodded.Well, then, yes.W-o-w. She exaggerated the word into three syllables. Edward Cullen.I know, I agreed. Wow didnt even cover it.Wait Her hands flew up, palms toward me like she was fish fillet traffic. Has he kissed you?No, I mumbled. Its not like that.She looked disappointed. Im sure I did, too.Do you think Saturday ? She raised her superciliums.I really doubt it. The discontent in my voice was poorly disguised.What did you talk about? She pushed for more information in a whisper. Class had started but Mr. Varner wasnt paying close attention and we werent the only ones still talking.I dont know, Jess, lots of stuff, I whispered back. We talked about the English essay a little. A very, very little. I think he mentioned it in passing.Please, Bella, she begged. Give me some details.Well okay, Ive got one. You should have seen the waitress flirting with him it was over the top. But he didnt pay any attention to her at all. Let him make what he could of that.Thats a good sign, she nodded. Was she pretty?Very and probably nineteen or twenty.Even better. He must like you.I think so, but its hard to tell. Hes always so cryptic, I threw in for his benefit, sighing.I dont know how youre brave enough to be alone with him, she breathed.Why? I was shocked, but she didnt understand my reaction.Hes so intimidating. I wouldnt know what to say to him. She made a face, probably remembering this morning or last night, when hed turned the overwhelming force of his eyes on her.I do have some trouble with incoherency when Im close to him, I admitted.Oh well. He is unbelievably gorgeous. Jessica shrugged as if this excused any flaws. Which, in her book, it probably did.Theres a lot more to him than that.Really? Like what?I wished I had let it go. Almost as much as I was hoping hed been kidding about listening in.I cant explain it right but hes even more unbelievab le behind the face. The vampire who wanted to be good who ran around saving peoples lives so he wouldnt be a monster I stared toward the front of the room.Is that possible? She giggled.I ignored her, trying to look like I was paying attention to Mr. Varner.So you like him, then? She wasnt about to give up.Yes, I said curtly.I mean, do you really like him? she urged.Yes, I said again, blushing. I hoped that detail wouldnt commemorate in her thoughts.Shed had enough with the single syllable causes. How much do you like him?Too much, I whispered back. More than he likes me. But I dont see how I can help that. I sighed, one blush blending into the next.Then, thankfully, Mr. Varner called on Jessica for an answer.She didnt get a chance to start on the subject again during class, and as soon as the bell rang, I took evasive action.In English, Mike asked me if you said anything about Monday night, I told her.Youre kidding What did you say? she gasped, completely sidetracked.I told him y ou said you had a lot of fun he looked pleased.Tell me exactly what he said, and your exact answerWe spent the rest of the walk dissecting sentence structures and most of Spanish on a minute description of Mikes facial expressions. I wouldnt have helped draw it out for as long as I did if I wasnt worried about the subject returning to me.And then the bell rang for lunch. As I jumped up out of my seat, shoving my books roughly in my bag, my up get up expression must have leaning Jessica off.Youre not sitting with us today, are you? she guessed.I dont think so. I couldnt be sure that he wouldnt disappear inconveniently again.But outside the door to our Spanish class, leaning against the wall looking more like a Greek god than anyone had a right to Edward was waiting for me. Jessica took one look, rolled her eyes, and departed. describe you later, Bella. Her voice was thick with implications. I might have to turn off the ringer on the phone.Hello. His voice was amused and irritated at the same time. He had been listening, it was obvious.Hi.I couldnt think of anything else to say, and he didnt speak biding his time, I presumed so it was a quiet walk to the cafeteria. Walking with Edward through the crowded lunchtime rush was a lot like my first day here everyone stared.He led the way into the line, still not speaking, though his eyes returned to my face every few seconds, their expression speculative. It seemed to me that irritation was winning out over amusement as the dominant emotion in his face. I fidgeted nervously with the zipper on my jacket.He stepped up to the counter and filled a tray with food.What are you doing? I objected. Youre not getting all that for me?He shook his head, stepping forward to buy the food.Half is for me, of course.I raised one eyebrow.He led the way to the same place wed sat that one time before. From the other end of the long table, a sort of seniors gazed at us in amazement as we sat across from each other. Edward seemed ob livious.Take whatever you want, he said, pushing the tray toward me.Im curious, I said as I picked up an apple, turning it around in my hands, what would you do if mortal dared you to eat food?Youre always curious. He grimaced, shaking his head. He glared at me, retention my eyes as he lifted the slice of pizza off the tray, and deliberately bit off a mouthful, chewed quickly, and then swallowed. I watched, eyes wide.If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldnt you? he asked condescendingly.I wrinkled my nose. I did once on a dare, I admitted. It wasnt so bad.He laughed. I suppose Im not surprised. Something over my shoulder seemed to catch his attention.Jessicas analyzing everything I do shell break it down for you later. He pushed the rest of the pizza toward me. The mention of Jessica brought a hint of his former irritation back to his features.I put down the apple and took a bite of the pizza, looking away, knowing he was about to start.So the waitress was pretty, was she? he asked casually.You really didnt notice?No. I wasnt paying attention. I had a lot on my mind.Poor girl. I could afford to be generous now.Something you said to Jessica well, it bothers me. He refused to be distracted. His voice was husky, and he glanced up from under his lashes with troubled eyes.Im not surprised you heard something you didnt like. You know what they say about eavesdropners, I reminded him.I warned you I would be listening.And I warned you that you didnt want to know everything I was thinking.You did, he agreed, but his voice was still rough. You arent precisely right, though. I do want to know what youre thinking everything. I just wish that you wouldnt be thinking some things.I scowled. Thats quite a distinction.But thats not really the point at the moment.Then what is? We were prone toward each other across the table now. He had his large white hands folded under his chin I leaned forward, my right hand cupped around my neck. I had to remind myself that we were in a crowded lunchroom, with probably many curious eyes on us. It was too easy to get wrapped up in our own private, tense little bubble.Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you? he murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back to me.Youre doing it again, I muttered.His eyes opened wide with surprise. What?Dazzling me, I admitted, trying to concentrate as I looked back at him.Oh. He frowned.Its not your fault, I sighed. You cant help it.Are you going to answer the question?I looked down. Yes.Yes, you are going to answer, or yes, you really think that? He was irritated again.Yes, I really think that. I kept my eyes down on the table, my eyes tracing the pattern of the faux wood grains printed on the laminate. The silence dragged on. I stubbornly refused to be the first to break it this time, competitiveness hard against the temptation to peek at his expression.Finally he spoke, voice velvet soft. Youre wrong.I glanced up to see that his eyes were gentle.You cant know that, I disagreed in a whisper. I shook my head in doubt, though my heart throbbed at his words and I wanted so badly to believe them.What makes you think so? His liquid topaz eyes were penetrating trying futilely, I assumed, to lift the truth straight from my mind.I stared back, struggling to think clearly in spite of his face, to find some way to explain. As I searched for the words, I could see him getting impatient frustrated by my silence, he started to scowl. I lifted my hand from my neck, and held up one finger.Let me think, I insisted. His expression cleared, now that he was satisfied that I was planning to answer. I dropped my hand to the table, moving my left hand so that my palms were pressed together. I stared at my hands, twisting and untwisting my fingers, as I finally spoke.Well, aside from the obvious, sometimes I hesitated. I cant be sure I dont know how to read minds but sometimes it seems like youre trying to say goodbye when youre dictum something else. That was the best I could sum up the mastermind of anguish that his words triggered in me at times.Perceptive, he whispered. And there was the anguish again, surfacing as he confirmed my fear. Thats exactly why youre wrong, though, he began to explain, but then his eyes narrowed. What do you mean, the obvious?Well, look at me, I said, unnecessarily as he was already staring. Im absolutely ordinary well, except for bad things like all the near-death experiences and being so clumsy that Im almost disabled. And look at you. I waved my hand toward him and all his bewildering perfection.His brow creased angrily for a moment, then smoothen as his eyes took on a knowing look. You dont see yourself very clearly, you know. Ill admit youre dead-on about the bad things, he chuckled blackly, but you didnt hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your first day.I blinked, astonished. I dont believe it I mumbled to myself.Trust me just this once you are the opposite of ordinary.My embarrassment was much stronger than my pleasure at the look that came into his eyes when he said this. I quickly reminded him of my original argument.But Im not saying goodbye, I pointed out.Dont you see? Thats what proves me right. I care the most, because if I can do it he shook his head, seeming to struggle with the thought if deviation is the right thing to do, then Ill hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe.I glared. And you dont think I would do the same?Youd never have to make the choice.Abruptly, his unpredictable mood shifted again a mischievous, devastating smile rearranged his features. Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence.No one has tried to do away with me today, I reminded him, grateful for the lighter subject. I didnt want him to talk about goodbyes anymor e. If I had to, I supposed I could purposefully put myself in danger to keep him close I banished that thought before his quick eyes read it on my face. That idea would definitely get me in trouble.Yet, he added.Yet, I agreed I would have argued, but now I wanted him to be expecting disasters.I have another question for you. His face was still casual.Shoot.Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?I made a face at the memory. You know, I havent forgiven you for the Tyler thing yet, I warned him. Its your fault that hes deluded himself into thinking Im going to prom with him.Oh, he would have found a chance to ask you without me I just really wanted to watch your face, he chuckled, I would have been angrier if his laughter wasnt so fascinating. If Id asked you, would you have turned me down? he asked, still laughing to himself.Probably not, I admitted. But I would have canceled later faked an illness o r a sprained ankle.He was puzzled. Why would you do that?I shook my head sadly. Youve never seen me in Gym, I guess, but I would have thought you would understand.Are you referring to the fact that you cant walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?Obviously.That wouldnt be a problem. He was very confident. Its all in the leading. He could see that I was about to protest, and he cut me off. But you never told me are you resolved on going to Seattle, or do you mind if we do something different?As long as the we part was in, I didnt care about anything else.Im open to alternatives, I allowed. But I do have a favor to ask.He looked wary, as he always did when I asked an open-ended question. What?Can I drive?He frowned. Why?Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he asked again, I probably wouldnt lie, but I dont think he will ask again, and leaving my truck a t home would just bring up the subject unnecessarily. And also, because your driving frightens me.He rolled his eyes. Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving. He shook his head in disgust, but then his eyes were serious again. Wont you want to tell your father that youre spending the day with me? There was an undercurrent to his question that I didnt understand.With Charlie, less is always more. I was definite about that. Where are we going, anyway?The weather will be nice, so Ill be staying out of the public eye and you can stay with me, if youd like to. Again, he was leaving the choice up to me.And youll show me what you meant, about the sun? I asked, excited by the idea of unraveling another of the unknowns.Yes. He smiled, and then paused. But if you dont want to be alone with me, Id still rather you didnt go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size.I was miffed. Phoenix is three times big ger than Seattle just in population. In physical size -But apparently, he interrupted me, your number wasnt up in Phoenix. So Id rather you stayed near me. His eyes did that unfair smoldering thing again.I couldnt argue, with the eyes or the motivation, and it was a moot point anyway. As it happens, I dont mind being alone with you.I know, he sighed, brooding. You should tell Charlie, though.Why in the origination would I do that?His eyes were suddenly fierce. To give me some small incentive to bring you back.I gulped. But, after a moment of thought, I was sure. I think Ill take my chances.He exhaled angrily, and looked away.Lets talk about something else, I suggested.What do you want to talk about? he asked. He was still annoyed.I glanced around us, making sure we were well out of anyones hearing. As I cast my eyes around the room, I caught the eyes of his sister, Alice, staring at me. The others were looking at Edward. I looked away swiftly, back to him, and I. asked the first t hing that came to mind.Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend to hunt? Charlie said it wasnt a good place to hike, because of bears.He stared at me as if I was missing something very obvious.Bears? I gasped, and he smirked. You know, bears are not in season, I added sternly, to hide my shock.If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons, he informed me.He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in.Bears? I repeated with difficulty.Grizzly is Emmetts favorite. His voice was still offhand, but his eyes were scrutinizing my reaction. I tried to pull myself together.Hmmm, I said, taking another bite of pizza as an excuse to look down. I chewed slowly, and then took a long drink of Coke without looking up.So, I said after a moment, finally meeting his now-anxious gaze. Whats your favorite?He raised an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth turned down in disapproval. Mountain lion.Ah, I said in a politely disinterested ghost, looking for my soda again.Of course, he said, and his tone mirrored mine, we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators ranging as far away as we need. Theres always plenty of deer and elk here, and theyll do, but wheres the fun in that? He smiled teasingly.Where indeed, I murmured around another bite of pizza.Early spring is Emmetts favorite bear season theyre just coming out of hibernation, so theyre more irritable. He smiled at some remembered joke.Nothing more fun than an irritated grey-headed bear, I agreed, nodding.He snickered, shaking his head. Tell me what youre really thinking, please.Im trying to picture it but I cant, I admitted. How do you hunt a bear without weapons?Oh, we have weapons. He flashed his bright teeth in a brief, threatening smile. I fought back a rush before it could expose me. Just not the grade they consider when writing hunting laws. If youve ever seen a bear attack on telev ision, you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting.I couldnt stop the next shiver that flashed down my spine. I peeked across the cafeteria toward Emmett, grateful that he wasnt looking my way. The thick bands of muscle that wrapped his arms and torso were somehow even more peril now.Edward followed my gaze and chuckled. I stared at him, unnerved.Are you like a bear, too? I asked in a low voice.More like the lion, or so they tell me, he said lightly. Perhaps our preferences are indicative.I tried to smile. Perhaps, I repeated. But my mind was filled with opposing images that I couldnt merge together. Is that something I might get to see?Absolutely not His face turned even whiter than usual, and his eyes were suddenly furious. I leaned back, stunned and though Id never admit it to him frightened by his reaction. He leaned back as well, folding his arms across his chest.Too scary for me? I asked when I could control my voice again.If that were it, I would take you out tonight, h e said, his voice cutting. You need a healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you.Then why? I pressed, trying to ignore his angry expression.He glared at me for a long minute.Later, he finally said. He was on his feet in one lithe movement. Were going to be late.I glanced around, startled to see that he was right and the cafeteria was nearly vacant. When I was with him, the time and the place were such a muddled blur that I completely lost track of both. I jumped up, grabbing my bag from the back of my chair.Later, then, I agreed. I wouldnt forget.